Have I mentioned that I’m feeling sorry for myself? And that right now I’m slacking off, writing this post when I should be finishing the class assignment from the special pain-in-my-ass portion of hell?

Ho-lee crap-olee I’m sick of myself. All this whining and complaining. You have NO idea. I simply WON’T shut up even though I violently pantomime to myself to plug my pie-hole. It’s so irritating. Wait, there I go again with the bitching. ugh.

I tried to tell myself things could be A LOT worse. But then I remembered, things are worse. Namely, I won’t be doing any wearin’ o’ the green, looking under men’s kilts, or having any St. Patty’s celebratory fun. Or even celibatory fun. No, I’m wrong, there will be celibatory, just no fun. Of course some of you other celibates could join me in this non-fun non-celebration and we could call it Celibat-orgy!! I think that deserves a hashtag on Twitter!

Of course I could be completely delusional and imagining this whole stoooooopid interlude. Cuz seriously, right now, it feels like it’s been a whole week just since this morning. Well, I better slap on my smiley face and get back to the crap that makes me cranky.

gummy bears by ~frikibunny8

smiley horse by ~orcalover109

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Look out people! I’m on my high horse. Which, by the way, sounds like a much better place to be than on my low horse. I mean, what exactly would I be doing on my low horse anyway??

Here’s the deal—I called one of my professors a dipshit. Not to her face (but possibly only because my classes are online). But I did say it out loud, to myself, and it did feel pretty good.

My beef with this professor is that she assigns PLENTY of reading, and by plenty I mean way more than I can finish in several sittings on the toilet, and then her meager contribution to our learning process consists of the following:

• her commentary—this is just a stupid outline of all the damn chapters she makes us read.
• a written assignment—this consists solely of questions taken from the chapter review questions in the textbook, ver-fucking-batim.
• an online group discussion assignment—again, this is based on shit she lifted from the textbook.

Holy hell people!! If all I wanted was to get me some straight from the book learnin’ without any other meaningful contribution from an instructor I coulda done that without a student loan and the craptastic lifestyle of a hermit!

Seriously! What the hell is she doing that I couldn’t have done for myself? I mean other than answering student questions in an untimely manner, handing out grades on shit we’ve regurgitated from a book, and creating a whole new expectation for what an answer should be on an assignment question AFTER I had handed in my answers and then dock my points cuz I didn’t answer according to the NEW expectations!!!

Just a sec, I need to spew some vile shit. . . %$^%$#% $#&*()&*%&&*%^ $%#@!^ &(*&** (*&^&%$ %$ %^&^&*&*(&!!!!!

Wow! My high horse and I feel much better now. Thank you.

photo source: all4humor

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